So after 68 consecutive entries, I took the day off yesterday. So there will be no 69. I just needed a break and had nothing to say that hasn’t been said before. And the events back home have left me angry and emotionally drained. I felt like shit all day yesterday and was extremely irritable, which made me a pain to be around.
Today hasn’t been a whole lot better. I didn’t sleep well again last night and felt pretty rotten all day. So just slumped around the house or out in the garden. I finally got my act together enough to go into town to Boots, as my hay fever medication had run out and the big philadelphus was finally starting to bloom, and it is my hay fever’s nemesis. But I am almost ashamed to say I drove rather than walk 10 minutes.
On the bright side, Charlie did the cooking and made us an amazingly good prawn curry. Alice and I sat outside in the garden in the evening, where the golden sunlight was working its magic on the smaller philadelphus.
I hope I can get a good sleep tonight but it looks like it is shaping up to be another bad night in America. Even bigger crowds outside the White House and troops massing at Andrews AFB, reportedly equipped with bayonets. Tonight might be the start of the second civil war. I hope I am wrong.
I am wondering of I should change the name of this diary to something else. Meltdown Diary? End Times Diary? Because the lockdown seems well and truly over for now anyway. Until the second wave of Covid-19 hits in a few months. Until then it’s just a question of how much worse the situation can possibly get in the US.
I woke up early but managed to get back to sleep for maybe another hour, rolling out of bed at about 7am. As soon as I saw what had been going on back home while I slept I felt like crawling back into bed but didn’t. Instead I started watching the nightmare unfold via videos on Twitter. The more I watched and the more I read, the angrier I became.
Now as I write this at 11pm here in the UK, it all seems to be kicking off again. Another night of this and I just don’t know where it will end. But rest assured Donald Trump will do nothing but sit and watch it on TV, and maybe play golf. His work here is done. He has put the country on the brink of civil war, which is just what Putin got him elected to do.
My US passport expired a few weeks ago and I haven’t been able to get a new one because the US embassy in London is not processing applications. Recent events have made me question if I should even bother getting a new one when they start issuing them again.
There were protests here today. I would liked to have taken part but still not ready to travel to London in the current circumstances. Just not worth the risk.
I have spent the day alternating between being extremely distressed about what is going on in America right now and being depressed about it. It is hard to comprehend how Donald Trump has brought my country to the brink of civil war. And as for the police in the US, who are now more heavily armed than military units in many countries, I only have this to say: please don’t think that there are good cops and bad cops in all of this, because as long as there are bad cops there can be no good cops. Good cops would not tolerate bad cops. Good cops would not look the other way or stay silent or just say they are only doing their job. Good cops would get rid of the bad cops by arresting them, testifying against them, helping to convict them. Good cops don’t fire rubber bullets at peaceful protesters, don’t bludgeon protesting women or men with batons.
I am just too angry to write any more, and I haven’t even touched on the insanity going on in the UK, or the pandemic that was my reason for starting this diary.
Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck the Republican Party. Fuck white supremacists.